Re: Valentine's Day

by Nick Smith in

Here are some thoughts I have regarding the holiday that is currently upon us.  First, let me say I'm not here to bash it for being a shallow consumer holiday, as it is no worse than Christmas.  Holidays are only as good as what you make of them.  Therefore you will not see me using the H-Word as a reason. BEWARE: I AM A SAPPY SON OF A BITCH.  IF YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH A LITTLE BIT OF GENERAL SENTIMENTALITY, I SUGGEST YOU SKIP THIS POST

I'll keep the personal details to a minimum and hopefully contain them to this (hopefully) reasonably sized paragraph.  There was the time where Valentine's Day didn't matter because I was a kid.  Then there was a long period where there was a person who I celebrated the holiday with.  The past two holidays I have been without person, and therefore when the significance of the holiday comes hurtling at me from all directions, and I lack anyone to share that significance with, it leaves me feeling tremendously lacking (read: lonely and worthless).  I will hereby attempt to stop referring directly to my personal experience as reasoning for this holiday.

I fully appreciate that people want to take an occasion that is not necessarily an anniversary to celebrate their love.  I think it is admirable for people to take time to recognize their relationship as the wonderful thing that it is.  I very much look forward for the opportunity to do so in the future.  There is nothing wrong with what people do on Valentine's Day.

Issue #1: The date:  In the interest of the lovers, why choose the dead of winter to celebrate a relationship that is (supposedly) vibrant and growing?  Why not push it back until the late spring or early summer when the sun is shining and everything ISN'T frigid, stiff and lifeless.  Pick a time where the sun is smiling down upon you and the world is in bloom?

Issue #2: Synchronized celebration: Everybody celebrating their love at the same time is just plain rubbing the noses of the lonely in the fact that they are inferior beings for failing to attract a fit mate.  And single people celebrating some sort of "Anti-Valentine's Day" is just too dumb for me to even address with this language.  I need to learn a language with a better vocabulary for expressing exasperation with people who just don't get it in order for me to come close to getting the fire in my head into yours.  Having a date on the calendar where all the couples turn up their giggles and cutesy lovey-dovey shenanigans a few more excruciating notches is simply disrespectful of those who are not so fortunate.  It's like making a starving man in the desert watch Joey Chestnut eat hotdogs for an entire day.

Issue #3: Arbitrarity (I don't know how to make arbitrary into a noun): I get that for some reason the feast of St. Valentine developed into this celebration of lovers and shit.   I think it's ridiculous that everyone who is in a relationship has to spend a day in the middle of February pandering to your object because some dude got his head cut off back when we thought the sky was a dome that held the surrounding water out.  I am all for celebrating love.  Hell, pick a day and do it every year.  But make it YOUR day.  Throw a dart at a calendar for all I care.  But Valentine's Day just seems so forced.  You are a unique couple.  Why be like everyone else.  Be you.  Pick a day that is you.

FOR GOD'S SAKE don't swarm me all at once with all these hearts and cuddles and tickling and smiles and I love yous and shit.....

(at least until I have someone to do it with, too.)