I listened to Henry Rollins' interview on the Nerdist podcast earlier today which got me very inspired to get up and do shit. He talked a lot about his workaholism and what lead him to be the way he is, and it reinforced my desire to throw myself into the things that I am trying to do.
So I spent a bunch of time thinking about where I am and where I want to go. And I realized, as I often do, that the road ahead of me is crazy long and crazy steep and it's going to take a lot of work to get anywhere close to where I want to be. But in a twisted way, I find this knowledge comforting for a few reasons. One in that I am lucid enough to know that this is going to be easy and I am certainly not entitled to becoming successful, but it will only come through me throwing as much of myself as possible into my work.
The second reason is much more complicated. I felt EXACTLY the same way 8 months ago when I was just starting out. And I know that I am certainly not in the same place I was in then, but I still feel the same incredibly huge distance from the faint light at the end of the tunnel that is probably just a dude with a Maglite anyway. It tells me that I am focused forward on what I need to be doing next. I have covered a lot of ground since January. But I am ignoring that in favor of focusing on what I can do with the next 8 months. 8 months from now, I hope I feel the same way. There's no status bar I am filling up. There is no percentage of completion. There is only fighting with my brain to make it think new thoughts every day and send the signals to my body to get out the door and walk up on stage. Everything else will be everything else.
I don't want the world. I just want your half.